the ceo’s guide to jetting.
baller on a budget
how to demonstrate a dispensable income in public with great financial efficiency, which will lead to popularity and desirability with both the male and female members of any given social group.
Mar 30
Mar 25
bath robe - bath = baller
wearing a bath robe, while obviously not bathing or sleeping, says to people that you are beyond following the social norms of the ordinary class. combine this with holding a cigar (lit or unlit) and a brandy snifter to display a trifecta of baller status.
Mar 22
Mar 21
remy martin louis xiii cognac
remy martin’s louis xiii cognac is some of the most expensive alcohol on the market. a bottle ranges over $1,700 right now. however, there is a side market for the empty crystal decanters on ebay that ranges about $100-200. pick up a crystal decanter and fill it up with some remy martin vsop for $40 and no one is the wiser.
Mar 19
Mar 18
Mar 15
stackin’ hundreds
only carrying hundred dollar bills is a great way to appear baller without any cost! women take notice when you pay in hundreds. it also helps when you refer to $100 as a buck, e.g. if something costs $150, say “it’s about a buck fifty”.
Mar 14
Mar 11
Mar 10
popping bottles
bottle service or table service is the way to roll into a club.
- you don’t have to wait to get in
- you don’t have to stand when you’re inside
- you don’t have to go to the bar
the problem is that bottle service appears expensive at first glance. $300 for a $30 bottle of alcohol is genuinely ludicrous. but that is a flawed assessment because you are also paying for your time not waiting in line (especially without girls in your group), complimentary waived cover charge (usually for up to 4-5 people), exclusive seating area for only your party, and alcohol. so if you split it evenly with your group, it can come out to $60-70 per person which makes it break even with paying cover and a couple rounds of drinks but a signficantly improved nightlife experience.
